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Hope Faith Belief and Support (The Spirit Side of Humans) Part 3
Written by: Normand Dubreuil
Published: July 2014
How do you handle the next 2 to 3 weeks; the waiting period and fear of the unknown?
My story continues.
Thursday, May 30 I called a friend of mine that is a heart surgeon and I told him about my situation and circumstance and wanted his advice. He recommended that I not wait 2 to 3 weeks for a biopsy and go see a Thoracic Surgeon he knows. He would call her and she would get back to me immediately.
The next day I received a phone call from the doctor's office setting up an appointment for a PT Scan and made an appointment for a consult. I was to have my medical records remitted to her office today. She also requested that I call my Primary Care Physician to get a TB test. On Monday I was able to get to the doctor's office for my TB test and on the next day my follow up appointment showed that my results were negative. On Wednesday I had my PT Scan completed.
Friday, June 7 my wife, son and I had a consult with my Thoracic Surgeon and Pulmonologist. They reviewed my CT and PT Scans along with a written report from the Radiologist. They explained that something was very active in my adrenal gland and lymph nodes as well as my lungs. The next steps are to have the biopsy and send the sample to the lab to be diagnosed and to have a head and body MRI.
The evening prior to the biopsy, Wednesday, June 12 I had the MRI's completed. Thursday, June 13 the biopsy was completed. Unofficially I was told that the pathologist eyed the tissue sample and he could not detect any sign of cancer cells. Tissue sample will go to the lab for an official report. Now I need to wait for a call next week but I have a little hope that just maybe it is not cancer.
On Monday morning, June 17 I received a phone call from the pulmonologist stating that she had bad news for me. She proceeded with "you have stage IV lung cancer known as Adenocarcinoma." You need to see an Oncologist, is there someone you would like to see? I did not know what to say I was in a state of shock. I responded who do you recommend? She would call the local cancer center in Augusta and see who is available and make an appointment for me. She also said "I am so sorry Normand."
I received a call the next day with an appointment for Thursday, June 20 with an Oncologist. My wife and son attended the consultation with me. When the doctor walked in she sat down in front of me and looked at me square in the eye and did not beat around the bush with what she was about to tell me. "You have stage IV lung cancer, it has metastasized to various parts of your body, this is not curable or operable, and you will die from this. It will definitely take your life but we all are going to die from something. Right! Now I will do everything I can to prolong your life. I am not going to tell you how long you have because as soon as I tell a patient how much time they have they will do one of two things. First they will only live for the amount of time I told them or secondly they will tell me where to go and fight to live much longer than I estimated."
At this point in time I was in SHOCK; I was sitting there and yet did not feel a thing. I had no emotions at the time and did not know what to say. The expressions on my wife and son's face were met with torment and sadness. I believe the doctor was still talking to me but I did not hear a word of it. I zoned right out from disbelief. How much time do I have? Will I be around this Christmas? How will my wife and family hold up through all of this? This happens to other people not me. Oh, it's my turn to be the other person. The doctor left for a few minutes while we consoled each other.
Upon her return we started talking about chemotherapy treatments. As I explained that I would cancel my business convention and vacation that was planned in the next couple of weeks she told me not to. She told me "it does not matter if we start chemo today or three months from now." She told me to enjoy my vacation and when I returned she would start the chemotherapy sessions. The message I got from that was enjoy now because once you return you won't have the opportunity and you will not be around later this year.
My wife, son and me left the cancer center distraught, disillusioned, and numb and not knowing what to say. My wife told me to put on my fighting armor that she will be by my side every step of the way and my son said the same thing that he would be there for me to let him know of anything I need. My son went back to work and I drove my wife to work and I went home.
I became emotionally uncontrollable in the car and had to pull over for a time. As I gathered my senses back, I proceeded home. Once I walked into the house I broke down. My nerves were shot, my anxiety level was through the roof and my mind ran away with unbelievable thoughts that my life was over. I felt like I was convulsing in my emotional state. I have never in my life ever experienced the feelings and emotions that I was going through at this time. I was not ready to give in or give up, I have a lot to live for and I am going to find the inner strength to fight this. I've seen individuals that face this with dignity and honor and I am determined to find it in myself as well. I knew that I would need support and thought about how I would get that support. My wife is my rock and key to my life because I love her with every fiber of my being. She will walk besides me and help me carry the burden. She is my eternal mate and we are one in purpose and will stand side by side through all the trials that are heading our way. I know that all my children are there for me and will walk with me and help carry the burdens as well. I also have extended family, my credit union family and church family that I can count on.
Where do I go from here? What is the next step? Should I talk to anyone else?
Normand Dubreuil
Normand Dubreuil was the President and CEO of Maine State Credit Union. He has two professional designations; CCUE - Certified Credit Union Executive and CCE -Certified Chief Executive. He's was with MSCU from 1985 - 2016 and worked in the credit union industry since 1977. His educational background is Accounting and Business Administration. He worked with the credit union's philanthropic cause, Maine Credit Unions Campaign for Ending Hunger. He served as a board member for the credit union's state trade association and was also the chairman of their Technology Services Committee. Normand also serves in his church in various leadership roles. He is married, has four children and twelve grandchildren.
After being diagnosed in 2013 with stage IV lung cancer he decided he wanted to be an advocate for the cause in providing hope, encouragement and inspiration to other lung cancer survivors and families. Being involved with a lung cancer organization has provided him the opportunity to reach out to others, touch lives and assist those with needs. In some small way he is hoping to give of himself in order to help others achieve their goals. He served as a board member for Free ME from Lung Cancer foundation.
