The Leadership Reflection

Written by: Ralph Twombly

Published: October 2010

Leaders amaze me in so many ways. I have seen leaders so strong that they can withstand the disapproval of trusted colleagues and still "stay the course." I have witnessed leaders so powerful that by simply making an off the cuff suggestion people jump to make that suggestion their reality to please the leader. I have also seen the dark side, including bad behavior and conduct that taints their personal reputation and jeopardizes the success of their organization. It is never boring to watch leaders function. The stories of leadership are part of my life and work and it never gets old. There is, however, a common theme that many leaders have that is really interesting...they underestimate the power of their influence on followers.

At a recent workshop the audience determined that we perfectly reflect our leaders and, if they are stressed and run around acting like there is about to be a nuclear accident, the stress effect on the workforce can be felt from miles away.

When told that they impact people by what they say, do, act and even think, leaders tell me consistently that I am over-estimating their impact. Case in point, in 1971, Jim Moody became President of Hannaford Bros. Co. in South Portland Maine. For the next 23 years, Jim’s style, influence, and model became not only the standard for Hannaford leaders but for leaders elsewhere. One day when I was visiting the corporate headquarters in Scarborough for a seminar, we all headed out for lunch where I noticed that my director was having lunch with people I didn't even know worked at Hannaford. Later I teased the director about not having lunch with his flock. He looked me straight in the eye and said quietly; "I picked that up from Jim. He has lunch every day with someone different so he can stay in touch and meet people." I asked if it was mandatory and my director explained, "No, but it is a pretty good habit, huh?" Years later, we still find a way to meet someone different for lunch when they come to our facility for learning events. My guess is that if I told Jim Moody that we would be discussing this in an article in 2010, he would have looked at me like I just fell off the rhubarb truck.

We all seek models and leaders to follow. That is hard for us to admit sometimes because we are the consummate rebels here in America and like to think we follow no one and even have clichés to capture the idea like, "I’m my own man." With all of this independent thinking it shouldn't matter what others do or say because we can make up our own minds. 

Here are a few provocative and connected truths from all of us to all of you to consider:

• People's behavior reflects their leader's behavior – if you have a calm leader, people respond by being calm. If by contrast you have a stressed reactive leader, it will be the inclination of people to reflect this stressed and reactive behavior.
• We can change the behavior of others by being aware of our behavior and adjusting those behaviors.
• Leaders with the best habits are the easiest to follow.
• Each time a leader changes a behavior for a sustained period of time, there is a decent chance that the new behavior will becomes a habit and become easier and easier to duplicate.

If you are still with me here there are some easy ways to begin the journey:

Determine what you want others to follow – If you accept the premise above that people will follow your example, you can now make a choice to behave in a way that displays the behavior you want others to follow.  Leading is a lifestyle not a duty.

Listen - Knowing that you will always have the final choice is the prerogative of leadership. With that in mind, it should be easy to be open, listen and be receptive to a new thought or idea. It is also catchy.

Be on - One of the challenging parts of leadership is that we expect our leaders to "be on." By "being on" we mean that leaders are supposed to live their lives in every way like they are asking others to behave. In other words, walking and talking what they endorse or ask of others. The great opportunity here is that it is that chance to lead by your example that can truly change lives.

Slow down - And walk more slowly, look at people, talk to folks, smile and set a pace that is what you want your people to display to the public or to the remainder of the workforce.

The look - The way leaders care to display themselves in grooming, dress and in all ways of appearance counts. You will find people copying your style more than you think.

Be on time - The perpetually late leader sends the notion that it is okay to place whatever priority we want on others' time. The conscience behavior of always being on time sends a strong message of humility and respect.

Enough for now? I promise I will be back with more but for now I’m going to stop and will be back another time to share more. We all hope you have a glorious fall season and Happy Halloween.

Best to all,

Ralph Twombly

In the 20 years since starting Priority Learning, Ralph has facilitated countless learning experiences and has conducted training for thousands of managers and leaders. With over 30 years of leadership development and organizational development background and work, Ralph continues to build relationships with client companies all over the U.S.