The Law of Attraction

Written by: Deb Sparrow

Published: February 2016

"The energy of the mind is the essence of life."-Aristotle     

Do you ever have the sense, in your own universe filled with optimism, hope, and amazing experiences, that you just cannot do anything right? Sometimes it seems like we have both the “kick me” sign on our back and the “please pull out in front of me so I can slam on my brakes and my coffee will go flying” sign on our bumper.  It’s as if the real universe has conspired against us.  

Lately I have been thinking about how people seem to be magnets for those who approach the challenges of life in similar ways. Positive people seem to attract other positive people and create a kind of irresistible energy that others want to be around. Those with a more negative outlook seem to attract others who are looking to share complaints and raise them to a higher level of discontent. We all have times where it seems difficult to see past the frustration and pressures, but is there any validity to the idea that "like attracts like" and that our fundamental outlook contributes to our experiences? Can it be true that what we put forth for energy in the universe comes back to us? Are there truly good “vibes” and bad “vibes” emanating from our being?

Consider the basic premise of the law of attraction. It is based on the thought that a person creates their own reality by being focused on a positive or negative outlook, and that individuals actually attract either positive or negative experiences to themselves through the power of their thoughts. 

I find it a little abstract, this notion that people and their thoughts are the "pure energy" that dictates experiences. There have been times in my life when I would have dismissed the law of attraction as metaphysical nonsense. Then I started to pay more attention to people's energy, including my own, and the impact that it has on others. That's not to say that I believe we cause the bad things that happen to us. Sometimes circumstances are not within our control. There are illnesses and accidents that devastate lives. While no amount of positive thinking can prevent them, it can make a difference in how we react to what happens to us. 

As a strong introvert, I'm used to needing space and time to reflect and recharge my energy. It never occurred to me that others might interpret this natural preference for solitude as a negative outlook. In fact, as I'm learning, those of us who go deeply into our own thoughts and are happily focused there can come across as intense, dismissive, and insensitive at times. 

After some pointed feedback about how others perceived me, I started to pay attention and made a greater effort to share more of what I have always considered my fundamentally positive, high-energy outlook. After reflecting on the feedback, most of it highly critical, and following up with some reading and learning, I toned down the intensity, starting with my tendency to sarcasm (humor is often misunderstood) and clear (harsh?) opinion. 

The first thing that I did, as quickly as I could, was to consciously look people in the eye and smile as often as I could. I made an effort to be more welcoming, created a safe environment for discussion, and got out around the office to rebuild some relationships. I think it helped others to realize that criticism, even when it stings a bit, can be a life-changing gift when considered from a positive point of view. 

One of the best learning moments I had was that positive thinking and affirmation go hand in hand. People need much more praise and appreciation from their leaders than I was giving. I was operating from my own preference, which is to hear bad news straight up. Like many, I struggle to accept praise because I find it embarrassing. If someone told me I was resilient, I assumed it was a euphemism for stubborn. 

Eventually I learned to simply say thank you and see resilience as a positive, strong trait. Before that, by working from my own critical feedback preference, I was creating an atmosphere of negativity. It isn't that I didn't think that people were doing good work, but I saw the imperfections first and made certain that I addressed those immediately. Not only was I attracting the wrong energy, but also as a leader in my organization, I was creating it. It was time to make a few adjustments. 

Fortunately, I'm a believer in the power of the mind. As a thinker to my core, some would say an over-thinker; it occurred to me that I was creating my own reality by not paying enough attention to the needs of others. I began to make more of an effort to connect with people, ask how they were doing, slowing down to hear the answers, and to compliment those things that I admired in others.

As the days went by, I noticed that my positive energy seemed contagious, and that my efforts inspired others to do the same. I was on to something. Positive thinking really is a force multiplier. "Like energy" really does attract "like energy"! 

The ability to keep a positive outlook really can make a difference in our physical and mental health, in the energy and people that we attract, and within our homes and workplaces. We all have our dark moments, but if we stay mindful of our energy peaks and valleys and our negativity triggers, the power of positive energy is a real force for cultural and personal change. 

So how do we remain positive in the face of problems and frustrations that seem insurmountable? Here are some Law of Attraction strategies that I've learned along the way:

1. Stay connected with those who see the best in you.
2. Have trusted confidantes who will tell you when you are running with scissors.
3. Practice gratitude.  
4. Maintain a sense of humor.
5. Recognize and encourage the best in others.
6. Operate from a perspective of abundance, not scarcity.
7. Be mindful of what and whom you allow into your space.
8. Be aware of and responsible for your own energy. 
9. Ask thoughtful questions to challenge the thinking of others. 
10. Practice forgiveness, of others and of yourself.

Recognizing and creating a positive energy force within yourself and in your workplace will attract energy that is more positive as well as a sense of well-being. Of course, this is not a guarantee of an amazing and perfect life, but carrying a personal culture of optimism is the beginning of achieving excellence and fulfillment. It will change the way that people interact with you for the better. Try it and see what you attract. 

I recommend starting with a smile. Almost everyone will smile back. 

Thank you for reading. Your feedback is welcome. 

Deb Sparrow

Deb Sparrow worked in financial services senior leadership for over 25 years. She is a firm believer that "the universe always falls in love with a stubborn heart" as she explores the fork in the road and writes about it from time to time. She is a graduate of Bowdoin College and Priority Learning's inaugural Executive Leadership series. Follow her on LinkedIn at Deb Sparrow worked in financial services senior leadership for over 25 years. She is a firm believer that "the universe always falls in love with a stubborn heart" as she explores the fork in the road and writes about it from time to time. She is a graduate of Bowdoin College and Priority Learning's inaugural Executive Leadership series. Follow her on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/deborah-sparrow/.